Ménage · Adults 18+
Choose who can contact you
Contact preferences help adults decide which incoming conversations they welcome. They work alongside block, account and request-state checks; they do not establish identity or replace consent.
Choose an incoming audience
In Settings → Privacy, choose who can message you. The Choose who can contact me option lets you tick profile types and additional identities. Both must be allowed. For example, a couple can decline messages from Women or from members who voluntarily declare Trans.
Understand overlapping descriptions
A trans woman can use Woman as her main profile type and Trans as an optional identity. Allowing one does not override excluding the other. A member declaring both Trans and Femboy must satisfy both identity choices. No declaration is required to join, so the filter cannot detect an undeclared identity or prove someone is cisgender.
Existing threads keep their history
The opt-in contact-choice mode checks future incoming messages even in an existing thread or unanswered request. It does not erase history. Changing who you search for is separate from changing who can contact you; review and save the setting you intend to change.
Keep refusals private and respectful
Another member receives a general contact-unavailable response, not your selected filters. Nobody is owed a conversation or an explanation. Use block or report when someone harasses you, and do not attempt to work around someone else’s contact refusal.
Common questions
Do these filters establish someone’s identity?
No. They use voluntary profile details only. A person may leave details blank or change them; the platform does not infer identity from photos, names or messages.
Do Premium or accepted meets override my choices?
No. The opt-in contact-choice mode applies regardless of Premium, an accepted connection or an accepted meet. Account restrictions and blocks still take priority.
Explore related topics
Find your people, at your pace
Ménage is a UK community for adults 18+. Respect, privacy and consent come first.
Join free